"Manager of the Month. Manager of the year, I'd say. Manager of the century. Manager of your hearts."

"Feast! Feast on my milky teat of triumph. For I am Big Sam, and I am a footballing god."

Business leaders and politicians have long realized that there is much to be learned from the world of football. But what about the rest of us? What can the 'manager of Crystal Palace' (still true at time of writing) teach us about our own lives? Across 45,000 words, 'Big Sam' will pass on some of the wisdom he's accumulated over the years. Like the best way to attack an all-you-can-eat buffet. Or the best tunes to accompany a long trek up the M6. Or those 12 easy steps that will lead to a better, more fulfilling lovelife. There's very little that Big Sam can't turn his hand to and very little that he won't happily share with the reader. Though that's not necessarily a good thing...

This hilarious parody will cover Not The Big Sam's invaluable wisdom on variety of subjects, including chivalry, confidence, dressing to impress and seducing a woman. A previous twitter account was shut down by Sam Allardyce himself but @TheBig_Sam survives and has become incredibly popular, with over 150k followers.