◆ “Brave, compelling, remarkable.” Richard Moriarty – The Sun
◆ “Brutal, vivid, electrifying.” Chris Riches – Daily Express
◆ FINALIST in the 2024 NEXT GENERATION INDIE BOOK AWARDS
Tonight, I am going to be tortured for the woman I love …
Elizabeth’s drives and desires have always been unusual. Beginning in early childhood, her need for love and suffering took her from the prim surroundings of a Norfolk girls’ school to the secret, latex-clad, rope-bound, whip-lashed delights of the Tokyo BDSM scene.
For Elizabeth, torture was not about sexual gratification – it was about love. In this frank and open memoir, she tells the story of a remarkable personal journey. Attracted to other girls from an early age, Elizabeth struggled to come to terms with her sexuality. As a schoolgirl, her fantasies of torture – always for the benefit of whichever girl she was in love with – were rooted in her own inability to accept herself as a lesbian or reconcile her desires with her Christian beliefs. Before finally realising that connection, Elizabeth would go through years of emotional and physical pain.
Having experimented with bondage at university, Elizabeth discovered S&M when her career as a high-flying headhunter took her to Tokyo. There she was inducted into the BDSM scene and learnt what real S&M was all about. When she fell in love with a gorgeous Japanese dominatrix called Tomo and became her slave, she began a descent into hell. Tomo proved to be an irredeemable sadist who took torture far beyond the accepted limits of S&M. Elizabeth went to the brink of destruction for Tomo. Not for the faint-hearted, this gripping memoir describes what she experienced there and how she found her way back.
TRIGGER WARNING: this book contains graphic descriptions of real-life BDSM and sadistic torture.